Moms seem to crave solitude, but the idea of it is almost laughable with young children in the house. I believe solitude is important, even vital, for the health of our mind, heart, and soul at any stage of life. But in the middle of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and sibling rivalry, we have to fight harder for it during motherhood.

I love my children. I love that they want to share their stories, complaints, and desires with me and that they like my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches better than anyone else’s. Even so, I need moments alone to reset my mind and emotions. When I don’t make time for solitude, I end up irritable, discontent, and resentful.

Solitude is an important part of self-care, especially if you’re an introvert (like me). It is essential to ensure your family gets the very best version of you. 

We need time alone when we can think for ourselves and not for anyone else. Solitude opens the door to new ideas and dreams. It brings respite to an overwhelmed mind. It frees our hearts and minds to focus on God, our spiritual state, and our own thoughts and feelings.

So how do we find solitude in motherhood?  

Don’t think I’m suggesting you have to set aside an hour each day to snuggle up with a good book, spend half a day on the riverside, or sneak away to a remote cabin for the weekend. All of those are great if you have the opportunity, but let’s be real. If you’re waiting on those opportunities to get the benefits of solitude, you will wait for a long time.

It’s more realistic to incorporate little moments of solitude during your everyday life. Here are 4 ways I try to sneak solitude into my days. Maybe one of these ideas can help you, too.

1. Wake up early and find a quiet hiding place. 

Before everyone needs you, find a place away from the main part of your home to have some time to yourself. It could be an office, an unused room, or a porch. I used to sit in my car in the garage. There were no private places in our house. Everywhere I went, the little people (or my husband) would find me. They didn’t often go to the garage, though. 

Now, I sneak away to a small office in the garage. Even when my kids know I’m there, it seems the extra few steps and two doors usually deter them enough to give me some peace. My husband is very understanding, too, and tries to keep everyone out as much as possible when I’m in there.

2. Drop the kids off early or pick them up later

Consider dropping off your kids at school or daycare 15 or 20 minutes early. Or, if your children are in daycare, delay picking them up by 15 or 20 minutes. Then, spend that small chunk of spare time mentally preparing for the day in the morning or processing it at the end.

3. Arrive early to car line

I used to avoid waiting in car line. I wouldn’t even leave my house until I knew the car line had started moving. Recently, though, I have found that a few extra minutes in car line is not always a bad thing. Sometimes I need that time to decompress from work and prepare my heart and mind for that second and most important job of motherhood. 

4. Take mini breaks

I think the constant noise and chatter of children is often the most overwhelming part of day-to-day motherhood. Sometimes, if I’m feeling overstimulated, escaping the noise for 5-10 minutes periodically is enough to get me through the day. That may be hard if you’re home with babies or toddlers, but if your spouse is there or your kids are old enough, try taking mini breaks throughout the day. Maybe your children will pick up the same habit and start giving themselves a break when they feel overwhelmed.

5. Include solitude in your evening routine.

Solitude makes sense as you’re winding down your day. After the kids go to sleep, spend a few minutes helping your body relax and your mind process the day. 

How to spend your moments of solitude

The ways people spend their moments of solitude will vary as much as their personalities. At it’s best, solitude gives us a chance to be more introspective. It allows us to look more closely at our emotions to see what may be causing us stress or weighing heavy on our hearts. Don’t miss these opportunities to examine your heart and soul without distractions from the world.

1. Journal

One of my favorite solitude activities is journaling. Writing helps me process my thoughts, feelings, and the events of the day. When I feel an internal stress that I can’t put my finger on, it usually comes out when I start writing. 

2. Pray and seek God

Quiet alone time allows us to truly seek and hear from God. God’s voice and our spirituality often get lost in the noise and activity of day-to-day life. Even Jesus, who was also a very busy man, understood the value of solitude. We see him seeking it several times throughout the New Testament. It’s important for us, too. Knowing God’s voice and staying in communication with Him is the only way to live your best, most fulfilling life on Earth.

3. Get creative

Scientific studies show solitude sparks creativity, according to an article on Forbes.com. So, you could use your time of solitude to hone a creative hobby, like painting, playing music, or crocheting. Personally, I love to write and, sometimes, I like to try a new and creative recipe in the kitchen.

4. Dream and plan

Solitude also allows us to plan and make decisions without outside influences. Anyone ever felt confident about a decision until someone else gave their opinion? Suddenly, you’re confused again and not sure you know what to do anymore. There are times we should seek the counsel of others, but there are other times it’s better to go with your gut. So use your solitude times to prayerfully dream and plan for your week, year, or life.

5. Move your body

Some people think best when they’re moving. If that’s you, spend your moments of solitude doing some sort of physical activity, like walking or yoga.

6. Give yourself a mental break

Not every moment of every day has to be productive. Sometimes, you just need to give your mind a break. So give yourself permission to curl up with a good book, take a nap, or even spend a few minutes watching funny videos. My only word of caution is to consider setting a timer for these kinds of mental breaks. It’s easy to get too lost in that story or video scroll.

If you need more solitude in your life, play around with different ways to work it into your day and ways to use that time. Find a rhythm and activity that makes you feel more alive and brings you joy and peace. 

Do you have any other tips on how you find solitude? What do you like to do during your time by yourself?