You are not too late. 

Well, if you’re like me, you’re probably late for something, but you are not too late to set your intentions for 2024.

We’re a dozen days into the year, and I already feel behind on the whole “reflection and resolution” tradition. Anyone else? I’m here to remind myself and you that this is actually the PERFECT time to think back on the last year and make plans for this year. 

We’re through the holiday hustle. The kids are back in school. The house is (a little more) back to normal. We’re officially in the coldest, darkest time of the year, so lets copy mother nature, slow down, and take a breath. We have permission to take a whole month to reflect and plan for the year ahead. 

Why are we so drawn to this idea of a new start and self improvement in the first place? I believe it’s a deep longing for hope. We hope that, as wonderful or as hard as this life may be right now, the best is yet to come. Although we will never actually see “the best” this side of heaven, we need hope that the difficult places and aspects of life can get better. We can live a better life, be a better person, and enjoy better relationships.

When goals don’t work

So, with hope in our hearts, we start the new year with new (or renewed) dreams and passions. However, I think there’s a lot of people (like me) who find strict, outcome-oriented goals more intimidating than inspiring. Maybe your experiences make you feel like goals are just a set-up for failure. So what do we do when goals don’t work? 

My husband is a sports writer and lifelong enthusiast. He has witnessed countless moments when a team had to divert from the original game plan because of unexpected circumstances. But coaches still make a game plan … every time. So should we. Even if we know it won’t be perfect. Even if we know life’s circumstances will most likely force us to tweak the plan or scrap it altogether and go a different direction.

We still need a game plan. 

Intention is better than perfection

The game plan

James Clear, in his book “Atomic Habits,” teaches us to focus, not on the outcomes we want to see, but on the systems and habits that will help us reach our goal.

For example, it’s not enough for me to say I want to spend more time in prayer and scripture meditation. It’s not even enough to make it more specific. I could say, “I will spend 30 minutes each day in prayer and scripture meditation,” but if I don’t pre-determine the times I will do this and add reminders to my calendar, it won’t happen. If I say I want to read 24 books this year, I have to look at my days and determine when I will take time to read. How will I arrange my schedule where I can develop a reading habit?

So take a few days, a week or two even, to ask yourself these questions:

1. What went well last year?
2. What did not go well last year?
3. What do I want this year to look like? What kind of person do I want to be?
4. What needs to happen for that to work?

Impacting those around us

Last year, I personally dealt with a lot of stress over work-life balance. I started a new job where I work from home most of the time. I am so grateful for the opportunity, but it did present some challenges. In that space where kids and computers intermingle almost every minute, it felt like a fight to decide how to divide my focus and energy. This year, I hope to find more balance and relieve that stress. I don’t want to spend my work time afraid that I’m neglecting my children or not taking care of our home. I also don’t want to spend my family time worrying about how I’m going to get all my work done. I want to be fully present with my kids to play, teach, and love on them.

To do that, I need to be more intentional and disciplined with each block of my time. I need to protect my work hours from distractions. When my kids are in school, I have to do my best to avoid running errands or making appointments outside of work. When my kids are out of school, I can’t let myself worry that I’m not interacting with them enough. I can let that concern go because I know when work is done, I will have undistracted family time to play, help them with their homework, fix them a snack, go to the grocery store or the park, etc. I don’t want my kids to think they are a hindrance to my work life. They are my life. I want them to know and feel how important they are to me and how much I enjoy spending time with them.

Dreaming about the life you want and making plans for how you will get there is a form of self care. And, because our lives are so intertwined with those around us, improving yourself usually has a positive impact on your family.

You are not behind. Take as much time as you need, because you are worth it.