We are not meant to live our whole lives in isolation. We are created for community, but life can so easily get in the way of finding and building friendships.

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article about how much moms need solitude and how to find it. As much as we need time for ourselves, we also need time with others. Your circle may look different than mine, but even the most introverted person needs a caring community of friends to share life with. 

Community provides us a sense of belonging and identity. It gives us an avenue to build deeper connections and gain support and advice from others. 

Perhaps the hardest part about community is finding it, though. I’ll be honest, making new friends doesn’t come naturally to me. Everyday conversations and small talk make me nervous. The idea of sharing part of my life and identity with people I don’t know really well is intimidating.

However, in this stage of my life, I find myself craving social connections outside of my immediate family more every year. You, too? Apparently, we are not alone.

A 2020 study found that people with weak community connections were 3 times more likely to report poor overall health and almost 5 times more likely to report poor mental health. Interestingly, the connection between mental health and community belonging was strongest in people aged 40-59. 

It’s worth the extra effort to step out of our comfort zone and intentionally seek friendships with others.

I am not a social scientist or community-building expert (although, if I ever went back to school, I would be!), but I know from my own experience how powerful it is to find people you can share life with. People whose values, interests, or lifestyle are similar to yours in some way.

Here are 4 places to start building your community.

Church

Find a faith community that shares your religious and spiritual beliefs and values. I grew up in church and stepped away for a time in my young adult life. I will never forget how much I missed having a faith family – people who could give support, advice, and help me view life through a spiritual lens. You can read more about my return to church here. 

Now more than ever, in a world that seems so unstable, we need a group of people who will help us stay focused on our relationship with God. If you have a desire to grow your faith but have never been part of a church congregation or haven’t been in a while, start searching for a faith family. 

In your search, I encourage you to look beyond the style of worship and preaching or the programs offered. Focus on finding a church that aligns with your most important personal beliefs and where you can connect with other members of the congregation. In my experience, those connections are going to do more to keep you grounded and grow your faith than any other aspect of church.

Don’t know where to start? In my area of the country, there are churches on every corner. Searching for a brand new one on your own can be daunting. Ask friends or family who go to church. Or, try going to a community Christian event where you can meet people from all different congregations. Recently, I attended the IF:Sand Mountain women’s conference, which was a local simulcast of the IF:Gathering 2024 conference.

It was an amazing experience to worship, learn, and converse with Christian women from different backgrounds and faith traditions. Next year, IF:Gathering is focusing even more on uniting the global church to serve God with Gather25. During this event on March 1, 2025, believers from around the world will honor God through worship, preaching, and teaching for 25 hours straight. Find a local Gather25 event near you and keep an eye out for other Christian community events you can participate in throughout the year.

The organization I work for, Rooted Collective, hosted the IF:Sand Mountain for my area this year and is planning to host Gather25. If you’re in the North Alabama region and are interested in being part of this event, you can sign up for email updates from Rooted Collective.

Special interest groups

Find a group of people who share similar interests and hobbies as you. Look for events on Facebook, at your local library, or local stores that sell supplies for your particular interest. If you can’t find a group in your area, start one! If you’re into it, I bet others are, too. You might find out another friend has the same interest and you never knew it, and you might make some new friends, as well!

Here are some ideas to get your mind rolling:

• Book Club – Look for information from your local library, a local bookstore, or Facebook events/groups.
• Running club – Look for these groups at local fitness centers, athletic supply stores, Facebook, or a simple Google search.
• Crochet or knitting classes or clubs – Look at a hobby supply store near you. You could also find groups online through sites like MeetUp or Facebook.
• Painting or art classes – These are sometimes offered at supply stores or the local library.
• Fitness classes – Again, check out a local gym, athletic supply store, or online.
• Bible study groups or Bible classes – Again, it’s a great way to meet other believers and learn more about the Bible! Look for flyers around town, information online, or ask friends.
• Community Theater – Look at the website for your nearest community theater program and audition for a play or volunteer to help behind the scenes!
• Cooking classes – There may be a restaurant, local college, or other organization near you that offers cooking classes, like The Sweet & Savory Classroom in Chattanooga, Tenn. My local library sometimes offers cooking classes, as well.
• Gaming groups – Card games, board games, or video games – if you like to play, look for a group that meets regularly to play your favorite game. Or, start one yourself!
• Gardening classes – Check your local farmers co-op or farm supply store for classes or groups where you can meet other farmers/gardeners and improve your gardening skills!

Have you found a special interest group that really worked for you? What was it and how did you find it? Have you started your own? How did you do it and find people to participate? Let us know in the comments about your experiences!

Kids extracurricular activities

In my small town, much of the social life revolves around the schools and local sports, whether high school or rec league ball. My husband grew up here and knew many people when we  moved a few years ago. However, I did not. My children’s involvement in extracurricular activities through the school and recreation department has helped me widen my circle of friends. 

Hours of practice and games at the ballfields are the perfect opportunity to get to know other parents in your community. So, don’t be afraid to start a conversation with another mom while you watch your little one practice. In the best cases, you will connect with another mom and their child will also connect with yours. Then, you can plan playdates and start getting to know each other on a deeper level. School-based activities are also a great chance to better know who your children interact with on a daily basis and their families.

Support groups

We can’t forget the importance of a community of support when you’re facing difficult situations. Support groups, formal or informal, can lead you to people who are walking or have walked the same road. Sharing your trials with someone has a way of bringing you together like nothing else can. There are support groups available for any sort of journey you may take.

• Caring for children with specific illnesses
• Caretaking
• Grief
• Caring for children with disabilities
• Mental illness
• Personal illness
• Substance abuse
• Stay-at-home motherhood
• Mom entrepreneurs

Joining a support group can help you feel more informed, confident, and encouraged. When it seems like no one else understands, a support group is a powerful reminder that you are not alone in whatever journey you face.

Of course, the key to building friendships, whatever that means for you, is to talk to people. Online communities are great, but the most powerful way to build friendships and deeper connections with others is through in-person interactions. That all starts with paying attention to the people around you. Who frequents your favorite spots, like a coffee shop, restaurant, library, or playground? What are the people in your church or community group going through? Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation. You never know where it might lead.