What do you expect family night to look like? Maybe a fairytale scene comes to mind with all your family members laughing around a game of pictionary or charades, munching on a buffet of you lovingly prepared.

Or maybe it involves lots of playful teasing during a round of bowling or excited little ones donning smiles and caps at a baseball stadium.

If you’re like me, you may have built up family night to be a big event but never followed through because it was overwhelming. Or you have this idea that it should be picture-perfect but been sorely disappointed. 

In our heads, we don’t see the Uno cards thrown across the table because one kid claims another was cheating. 

We miss the part where someone is crying on the floor because they don’t like our idea of fun …or good food.

We lose sight of the cost of those baseball tickets and stadium food that goes with it. 

We forget about our own meltdown when the science experiment goes wrong and stains our favorite piece of furniture. Hardly a memory we want our children to hold on to. 

It doesn’t have to be hard. It just has to be intentional.

Reality is made of very imperfect humans living, often, unpredictable lives.

So why don’t we think about it differently? Let’s adjust our expectations and refocus our attention on the real purpose of family time. It doesn’t matter what activity you plan or food you serve. So don’t stress yourself to the max over this. It only matters that you do SOMETHING together as a family. 

In other words, if the family is all together doing any kind of activity where they talk and interact with each other, it counts! 

Intentional family time shows our children that we care about them and want to spend time with them. It teaches them to value family relationships and, hopefully, leaves us all with lasting memories. Whether we laugh at the absurd memories or smile at the sweet ones, we can accomplish all those goals simply by prioritizing time for the family to spend together. Write the time on your calendar and guard that time with all you have. Make sure your kids know it’s important.

Tips for a simpler family time

Here are some thoughts that can help you keep family time simple and enjoyable for everyone.

1. Be mindful of the time. Family time does not have to be family NIGHT. Especially for little ones, somewhere around 5-9 p.m. are bewitching hours in child land when children really just have nothing left to give. Their physical and emotional energy is spent. This is not always the best time to create family memories. If your children struggle in the evening or you know your patience is thin at this time of day, consider planning family time on a Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon. 
2. Speaking of time, don’t plan on hours of fun that last into the night. If you can keep the activities going that long, I can almost guarantee the fun won’t, especially with young children. Their attention and your patience will start to slide. For our family, just a couple of hours is usually about right.
3. Don’t overplan. For example, if you’re planning a game night, 2-3 games is all you need. We let each of our three children choose one game and play one round of each. If there’s time, mom and dad may choose a game. Or, sometimes it’s fun to not plan at all. Let the kids dictate the activities (within reason, of course), whether it’s a soccer game in the backyard, building a blanket tent, or just playing pretend for an hour. If you want to follow the kids’ lead, it might help to make some suggestions first.
4. Keep food simple. Kids love pizza. Pizza is easy and cheap. I’m just saying, our family loves to munch on a couple of pizzas while we do our activities. You are not hosting a dinner party. Food is not the most important part. Unless, of course, food is the main activity.
5. Keep it light. Expect things not to go as planned. Expect messes. Be willing to laugh when it happens. Expect children to do it their own way, which will likely not be the way you would do it. The product may not be beautiful, but the memories definitely will be.